剛剛下班直接去 gym 跑步加重訓。已經三四個禮拜都沒做任何運動了。難怪我這幾天一直感覺到處在嚴重的低潮期，都快要開始懷疑起我是不是也荷爾蒙失調了。
都怪我太怕麻煩，天氣稍微冷一點點就懶得去運動。但最可怕的是我一直到今天才突然想到很可能這幾天來的無精打采就是因為沒運動造成的。連今天早上寫的文章看起來都如此 pathetic. 太不敏銳了。於是我決定來列出我的不開心原因一覽表。以後如果有連著幾天不太有精神, 進而導致不開心 (基本上我不開心的原因 99.7% 跟沒精神有關), 我就可以來檢查一下是哪一個點沒做到，而不要像這次一樣傻傻地讓自己消沉這麼久。
1.是不是最近又沒有早睡早起了呢？
2.是不是忘記做有氧運動了呢？光走路是不夠的，要流汗。
3.是不是又吃太多肉和不好消化的油膩食物呢。
4.是不是很久沒參加團體活動、認識新朋友了呢？
5.是不是很久沒寫文章舒發情感了呢？
6.是不是很久沒有被愛情滋潤了呢？
7.是不是很久沒跟家人老朋友聯絡了呢？
8.是不是又把自己搞得壓力太大，每分每秒都不放過了呢？
9.是不是又忘記欣賞沿途的風景了呢？
Dec 10, 2010
七年之癢
昨天是 2010.12.9., marked my 7-year anniversary since I formally immigrated to the U.S.
觀察一下現在的生活，發現跟在 SF intern 時有很多相似的地方。床是 queen-size 床墊, 放在一模一樣的一個 ikea malm box 裡。都是直接跟別人買的。睡覺時手腳可以延伸出去，碰到涼涼的木頭。我也很自然地跟以前一樣把手機就放在 box 的邊緣上。
都是一樣地規律生活，每天天還沒亮就起床。不一樣的是在 SF 那間 apt.房間冷冰冰的。在這裡暖氣有點過強，而且就算把栓子關到最緊也照樣很熱又很乾。乾到我每天都抓癢抓到破皮流血。這個問題嚴重地困擾著我。突然想到去年在費城買的增濕器一次都沒用過就丟掉了。想不到現在需要它了。
最近很冷，冷到想出門散個步，走沒半小時又龜回室內；原本下車後走七分鐘就會到公司，現在總感覺為什麼還沒到；地鐵變得更擁擠，比起夏天時的穿著，每個人都加胖好幾公分；通勤也因此變得更加難以忍受。我發現拿一本書看的好處就是幫助我渡過那難受的十五、二十分鐘，不曉得是否因為如此紐約地鐵上看東西的人比例那麼高。做什麼事都因為天氣的關係而不順，也難怪會有很多人有 SAD (seasonal Affective Disorder)，我覺得我好像不知不覺也染病了。
這陣子沒有在念精算的考試，所以可以算是過著一般上班族過得生活：回家後時間就是自己的。目前覺得該是 switch field 的時候了。不是很想一直做跟 finance 有關的東西，technology or science 對我來說比較有成就感。發現要換領域還不是件容易的事，特別是大學沒修過這些課，現在要補只能自修或是再念一個 M.S., 代價滿高的。真是頭痛！這幾年來住的地方換來換去，念書, intern, 工作的方像也都差很多，慢慢地變成了一個 Ｊack of all trades. 真慘。到最近才知道，原來沒耐性的個性對我傷害不少，很多事情都是因為這樣所以才做不好。不論是短期方面做一件事會做不好，甚至長期方面的 decision making, 也間接因為沒耐性而缺乏長遠的考量。
我這輩子一直都在換來換去，能待美國一待就是七年，自己也很難相信。唯一一直有在戮力深耕的，就是在英文方面跟對美國文化的了解跟體悟。
觀察一下現在的生活，發現跟在 SF intern 時有很多相似的地方。床是 queen-size 床墊, 放在一模一樣的一個 ikea malm box 裡。都是直接跟別人買的。睡覺時手腳可以延伸出去，碰到涼涼的木頭。我也很自然地跟以前一樣把手機就放在 box 的邊緣上。
都是一樣地規律生活，每天天還沒亮就起床。不一樣的是在 SF 那間 apt.房間冷冰冰的。在這裡暖氣有點過強，而且就算把栓子關到最緊也照樣很熱又很乾。乾到我每天都抓癢抓到破皮流血。這個問題嚴重地困擾著我。突然想到去年在費城買的增濕器一次都沒用過就丟掉了。想不到現在需要它了。
最近很冷，冷到想出門散個步，走沒半小時又龜回室內；原本下車後走七分鐘就會到公司，現在總感覺為什麼還沒到；地鐵變得更擁擠，比起夏天時的穿著，每個人都加胖好幾公分；通勤也因此變得更加難以忍受。我發現拿一本書看的好處就是幫助我渡過那難受的十五、二十分鐘，不曉得是否因為如此紐約地鐵上看東西的人比例那麼高。做什麼事都因為天氣的關係而不順，也難怪會有很多人有 SAD (seasonal Affective Disorder)，我覺得我好像不知不覺也染病了。
這陣子沒有在念精算的考試，所以可以算是過著一般上班族過得生活：回家後時間就是自己的。目前覺得該是 switch field 的時候了。不是很想一直做跟 finance 有關的東西，technology or science 對我來說比較有成就感。發現要換領域還不是件容易的事，特別是大學沒修過這些課，現在要補只能自修或是再念一個 M.S., 代價滿高的。真是頭痛！這幾年來住的地方換來換去，念書, intern, 工作的方像也都差很多，慢慢地變成了一個 Ｊack of all trades. 真慘。到最近才知道，原來沒耐性的個性對我傷害不少，很多事情都是因為這樣所以才做不好。不論是短期方面做一件事會做不好，甚至長期方面的 decision making, 也間接因為沒耐性而缺乏長遠的考量。
我這輩子一直都在換來換去，能待美國一待就是七年，自己也很難相信。唯一一直有在戮力深耕的，就是在英文方面跟對美國文化的了解跟體悟。
Dec 1, 2010
Thanksgiving Trip to SD
Christine picked me up at the airport. She looked so pale. I was expecting to see her happy and cheery face. But there's none of that. I thought she looked a little strange but didn't realize what it was. Now I know. She's scare to death by the airport traffic. Poor baby. I guess the twenty-minute drive to the airport was so stressful that all her facial expression vanished.
But even after a few days I still think that there's something missing for the trip. There wasn't enough conversations going back and forth among us. The closest to a 4-way conversation I could think of was when we were having the rose discussion in the Balboa Park.
After this trip, I think there's no way I can live in California any more. That kind of lifestyle would kill me in a few days.
Here's my little thoughts/comparison to my North Carolina trip:
Both are rural. Dead quiet at home. Drive to get to everywhere.
Durham:
looks dirty and worn-out at some places
Southern fast food, fried chicken restaurants; not enough Asian food
Drive in the woods
San Diego:
consistently clean
Clean air, clean road, beautiful buildings, gorgeous coves and downtown
Plenty of Asian food, others, high class seafood
Drive in a desert
At least for me, it appears that the all-time popular city San Diego doesn't even match up to a lesser-known city in the east coast!! The moral is: I probably won't consider moving back to California for a while.
But even after a few days I still think that there's something missing for the trip. There wasn't enough conversations going back and forth among us. The closest to a 4-way conversation I could think of was when we were having the rose discussion in the Balboa Park.
After this trip, I think there's no way I can live in California any more. That kind of lifestyle would kill me in a few days.
Here's my little thoughts/comparison to my North Carolina trip:
Both are rural. Dead quiet at home. Drive to get to everywhere.
Durham:
looks dirty and worn-out at some places
Southern fast food, fried chicken restaurants; not enough Asian food
Drive in the woods
San Diego:
consistently clean
Clean air, clean road, beautiful buildings, gorgeous coves and downtown
Plenty of Asian food, others, high class seafood
Drive in a desert
At least for me, it appears that the all-time popular city San Diego doesn't even match up to a lesser-known city in the east coast!! The moral is: I probably won't consider moving back to California for a while.
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